Mutually Symbiotic Service

I've learned about the importance of service my entire life. It's helping others, like when you shovel your neighbor's driveway after a snowstorm or help that new family move into the neighborhood, right? A question I often ask myself and others as I seek to gain understanding is "What does it look like?" As we all know, service is not limited to shoveling driveways or new neighborhood move-ins. I've seen service performed in quiet moments where words of encouragement are offered, hospital patients are waited with, or a warm embrace consoles. Though subtle, these brief and sometimes silent acts of service reflect the true spirit with which we should serve.

Scriptures such as Moroni 7:8 and 2 Corinthians 9:7 help teach us that the "gift" of service is counted evil before God if it is gifted grudgingly and that "God loveth a cheerful giver." Many feel the need to serve others because it is the apparent reflection of an attribute essential for salvation taught about in every book of scripture - charity. 

"Charity suffereth long and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil... Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever. If he have not charity, he is nothing" (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 and Moroni 7:46-47)

My limited experience, though deeply personal and meaningful, has taught me that having charity fulfills the promise repeated in each of the Four Gospels. "For whosoever shall save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it." (Luke 9:24)

The service I've provided with that Christlike love has changed my life. It's deepened my understanding of God's love for his children and my parents' love for me. It's helped me feel more joy in another's progress and more compassion in another's setbacks. Though few in number, the pure acts of service I've performed have helped me understand my godlike capacity and eternal potential.

Well, I don't want to talk about charity, except to say that we need it to give meaningful service and to find ourselves as we lose ourselves in selfless service.

Instead I want to talk about mutually symbiotic service. You science nerds out there know that symbiosis is "a close, prolonged association between two or more different organisms of different species" and can be both positive or negative. If the symbiosis is mutual, both organisms benefit. I believe that service can be offered in such a way that both parties mutually benefit, albeit in distinctly different ways.

A few weeks ago I was talking with a recruiter for a non-profit organization I was thinking about applying to work for. She introduced me to a new term, solidarity, which means "mutual support within a group." She went on to explain that while charity is essential in providing meaningful service, it should not go unaccompanied by solidarity. 

While someone with charity certainly "seeketh not her own," they should absolutely seek to gain something from who he or she serves. There can be a mutually symbiotic relationship when the "server" and the "one being served" work side by side and support each other in a common cause.

How many times have we been called to serve in varying capacities and failed to realize that, apart from the service we render or the charity with which we serve, we have so much to gain from those we are serving?

I can think of several examples from my life of this kind of mutually symbiotic service.

Beatriz, a woman I had taught and baptized on my mission in Ecuador, perceived that something was weighing me down one day. When I responded to her inquiry about how I was doing by expressing frustrations with my own personal imperfections, she responded by saying, "Elder, you don't need to be perfect. Isn't that why Christ atoned for us?"

This past summer I was a coach at a youth music camp and had the opportunity to mentor a team of high school students. A few youth who I mentored and coached offered me in return meaningful friendship which continues strong even til today. They helped me understand that age difference was no barrier to meaningful friendships. 

In the past, when called to teach in Sunday school, I have prepared lessons with lots of content and personal stories. Each time I'm grateful to see that the amount of wisdom and experience my peers offer during the class far exceeds my own and blesses my life more than I could ever have hoped to bless theirs through my prepared lesson.

These examples have something in common - in each of them I was apparently filling a teacher or mentor role. In essence, I was "supposed" to be the one providing charitable service to others. If I was ever under the impression that only I had something to offer them, I was quickly reminded that we could mutually benefit each other. This is not a parasitic relationship - it is mutual symbiosis.

From those experiences I've learned to approach service in it's many forms by seeking to learn from those I'm serving. Learn from their experience, their circumstance, their culture, their unique perspective. I wonder, "How many opportunities have I missed to learn from those I've served because I wasn't seeking to learn from them?"

This past summer I led a group of American youth doing humanitarian service in Asuncion, Paraguay. No experience more than this one taught me the truth behind mutually symbiotic service. I had gone to Paraguay to serve the youth as their trip leader and, in turn, provide service to the local church members as well as the children attending the school we were building. Though I went to Paraguay to be the service provider I had countless experiences learning from those I had gone to serve. 

I learned invaluable lessons from the youth in devotionals and on the worksite as I spoke with them. I mentored and taught throughout the trip but realized as I opened up to them that they had inspired counsel to offer in return. From these conversations I had some life-changing realizations, one of which pushed me to come to the Jerusalem Center this fall. I also learned so much from the local church members – their willingness to offer sincere friendship and give service inspired me. While I was pleasantly surprised and extremely grateful for what I learned from the youth and church members, it was what I learned from the school children at the worksite that I least expected.

Near the end of our trip we were finishing up a mural we had painted in the courtyard of this small elementary school. The mural was on a square piece of wall about as tall as me and was a picture of a world surrounded by the faces of young people with words like “respect,” “peace,” and “unity” in English and Spanish scattered throughout. The final touch was to have the five and six-year-olds come out and put blue handprints on the world where the water should be. 

You should have seen these cute kindergarteners come out, dip their hands in blue paint, and slap them right onto the mural. 

After leaving their mark, the kids would come to me to have their hands cleaned. I sat there with a small tray of paint lacquer and towel and would ask them to swish their hands in the lacquer and then hold them out for me to wipe clean.  

As I sat there cleaning these hands I couldn't help but draw gospel parallels. I was reminded of the Savior and how he called for the children and blessed each one of them. They must have gathered around him and eagerly awaited their turn with the Master. I was humbled to sit in the Savior's seat as I pondered this symbolic experience. I felt closer to Him in that moment than I ever had. 

I also saw myself in the children. They came with dirty hands hoping to be cleaned. I marveled at how easily the paint came off with sufficient lacquer and a small rag. 

Those that were gathered around me watched the paint come off effortlessly as they waited for their turn to be cleaned. 

I would take their hand and ask them to open their fingers so that I could clean every inch. Some would try first to wash their hands with water but would then come over with their heads down and hands out as if to say, "I tried to clean these myself but I can't do it without you." Others would only dip a part of their hand in the lacquer and it wouldn't be enough so I would have them go back and dip their whole hand in. 

Just like those kids, I need the Savior to clean my dirty hands. I can't do it myself. 

The most touching part of this experience was when one of the last kids coming to be cleaned noticed my hands had gotten dirty from cleaning all the other hands. After I finished cleaning her hands, she took my rag, dipped my hands on the lacquer and began to clean my hands. She told me to open my fingers just like I had told her. She cleaned every inch with just as much detail and care. I was so touched at her desire to reciprocate that service. A five-year-old girl from Paraguay taught me that there are lessons to learn even from the most humble. 

I hope it's clear that I’m not saying you should expect to receive something in return when you serve. As I said before, charity is essential in giving meaningful service. What I do want to communicate is that while giving selfless service, we shouldn’t make the assumption that we are the only ones who have something to offer in that service exchange. 

We should look for opportunities to learn from those we serve, thus creating a mutually symbiotic relationship in service. As Gordan B. Hinckley said, “One of the greatest ironies of this life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served.”

(Talk given by Trevor Johnson in the Jerusalem Branch on September 28, 2014)

Photos by Brook Dorff and Cheryl Thornton